I’m trying so hard. I swear I’m trying. I’m trying to be a better person.

I’m just so…lost.

Just say goodbye. You can say it when you get up from the couch. You can say it at the door. I will say it when you get to your car. I’ll scream it as you drive away.

I’m pathetic.

I want a piercing. A sexy piercing.

I’m ready to go home. My apathy gets me in trouble. I don’t care.

I can’t sleep at night. I can’t make myself do it. My eyes are burning and begging to be closed but sleep never comes. Maybe I feel like it’s okay when I’m alone at night because being alone during the day when everyone else is awake is just…pathetic.

I listen to shitty music now that I’ve left Austin. I need to go back to Texas.

I can’t write anymore.
Nothing good ever comes out.

My room is dark and the only sound comes from my over-worked fan, The Weepies, and my keyboard. I have that song on repeat. It makes me feel like every thing is going to happen the way it happens in my head. I can’t decide if that’s boring or if it’s excellent. Maybe both. Things can be both. The light from my computer screen highlights all the little cracks in my hands and fingers. It makes me feel oddly human. My finger nails are a dark plum color. It makes me feel oddly trendy. I wish I was more trendy. I wish I didn’t smoke so many cigarettes. I wish I didn’t care all the time like I don’t care some of the time. I care about that. I care about you. Shit.

So, I guess the real question is: Are we living or are we dying?

sunbeamsinmasonjars:

cypriots:

aseriesofserendipities:

fuckyeahdogs:junpoco:fucksun:liriangelcarolina:bigapple-bigheart:(via illbeyourguy)

I want to be away from this place. Right now. I’m sick of being here. A whole month sounds like torture. I don’t think I can do it. I don’t care enough. Literally, I could care less that this is possibly affecting the rest of my life. I’ve never been the type of person to care about tomorrow until it comes. It’s taking all I have to not pack up my car right now and just leave. I just want to go home. I just want my boyfriend and our life. That’s all I want right now. I hate college. It is thoroughly unenjoyable. Come rescue me.

acewepeel:

So whatever, here I am pregaming by myself because I didn’t want to pay for drinks at the bar we were going to, but at least now I get to watch the end of our football game. And if we beat #2 Alabama, you best believe I will make my way to Five Points by myself to celebrate and make friends.

Okay, probably not.

 clearly that was never gonna happen.

fuckyeahtattoos:

misselise:

this is so pretty

I miss you very much. I feel like that’s not a good thing.